bestparentingskills

12 Safety Devices To Protect Your Children

2010-01-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

12 Safety Devices To Protect Your Children

About 2-1/2 million children are injured or killed by hazards in the home each year. The good news is that many of these incidents can be prevented - by using simple child safety devices on the market today. Any safety device you buy should be sturdy enough to prevent injury to your child, yet easy for you to use. It's important to follow installation instructions carefully. In addition, if you have older children in the house, be sure they re-secure safety devices. Remember, too, that no device is completely childproof; determined youngsters have been known to disable them.

Here are some child safety devices that can help prevent many injuries to young children.

SAFETY LATCHES and LOCKS on cabinets and drawers can help prevent children from gaining access to medicines and household cleaners, as well as knives and other sharp objects.

Look for safety latches and locks that adults can easily install and use, but are sturdy enough to withstand pulls and tugs from children. Safety latches are not a guarantee of protection, but they can make it more difficult for children to reach dangerous substances. Even products with child-resistant packaging should he locked away, out of reach; this packaging is not childproof.

SAFETY GATES can help keep children away from stairs or rooms that have hazards in them.

Look for safety gates that children cannot dislodge easily, but that adults can open and close without difficulty. For the top of stairs, gates that screw to the wall are more secure than pressure gates."

New safety gates that meet safety standards display a certification seal from the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA). If you have an older safety gate, he sure it doesn't have "V'' shapes that are large enough for a child's head and neck to fit into.

DOOR KNOB COVERS and DOOR LOCKS can help keep children away from places with hazards, including swimming pools.

Be sure the door knob cover is sturdy enough not to break, but allows a door to be opened quickly by an adult in case of emergency. By restricting access to potentially hazardous rooms in the home, door knob covers could help prevent many kinds of injuries. To prevent access to swimming pools, door locks should be placed high out of reach of young children. Locks should be used in addition to fences and door alarms. Sliding glass doors, with locks that must be re-secured after each use, are often not an effective barrier to pools.

ANTI-SCALD DEVICES for regulating water temperature can help prevent burns.

Consider using anti-scald devices for faucets and showerheads. A plumber may need to install these. In addition, if you live in your own home, set water heater temperature to 120 degrees Fahrenheit to help prevent burns from hot water.

SMOKE DETECTORS are essential safety devices for protection against fire deaths and injuries.

Check smoke detectors once a month to make sure they're working. If detectors are battery-operated, change batteries at least once a year or consider using 10-year batteries.

WINDOW GUARDS and SAFETY NETTING for balconies and decks can help prevent serious falls.

Check these safety devices frequently to make sure they are secure and properly installed and maintained. There should be no more than four inches between the bars of the window guard. If you have window guards, be sure at least one window in each room can be easily used for escape in a fire. Window screens are not effective for preventing children from falling out of windows.

CORNER and EDGE BUMPERS can be used with furniture and fireplace hearths to help prevent injuries from falls or to soften falls against sharp or rough edges.

Be sure to look for bumpers that stay securely on furniture or hearth edges.

OUTLET COVERS and OUTLET PLATES can help protect children from electrical shock and possible electrocution.

Be sure the outlet protectors cannot be easily removed by children and are large enough so that children cannot choke on them.

A CARBON MONOXIDE (C0) DETECTOR can help prevent CO poisoning.

Consumers should install CO detectors near sleeping areas in their homes. Households that should use CO detectors include those with gas or oil heat or with attached garages.

WINDOW BLIND CORD SAFETY TASSELS on miniblinds and tension devices on vertical blinds and drapery cords can help prevent deaths and injuries from strangulation in the loops of cords.

For older miniblinds, cut the card loop, remove the buckle, and put safety tassels on each cord. Be sure that older vertical blinds and drapery cords have tension or tie-down devices to hold the cords tight. When buying new miniblinds, verticals, and draperies, ask for safety features to prevent child strangulation.

DOOR STOPS and DOOR HOLDERS on doors and door hinges can help prevent small fingers and hands from being pinched or crushed in doors and door hinges.

Be sure any safety device for doors is easy to use and is not likely to break into small parts, which could be a choking hazard for young children.

CORDLESS PHONES help you watch your child continuously, without leaving the vicinity to answer a phone call. Cordless phones are especially helpful when children are in or near water, whether it's the bathtub, the swimming pool, or the beach.

5 Reasons To Choose A Traditional Kids Summer Camp

2010-01-10T00:29:00.000-08:00

5 Reasons To Choose A Traditional Kids Summer Camp

A traditional kids summer camp is one that generally begins in June and continues through August. This type of recreation is a popular activity among children of all ages as it gives them the opportunity to experience new things, meet new people and embark on a journey of independence. With that being said, the following are 5 popular reasons to enroll your child in a traditional kids summer camp.

Independence. During their experience at a traditional kids summer camp, children will experience their first taste of independence. Being away from home for the first time can be scary, but new friends and fun activities will help to make the transition easier. This will also be an important step toward college preparation, which often requires that the child leave home for months at a time.

Responsibility. A traditional kids summer camp will teach children to be responsible in a variety of ways, including the organization of their personal items. While away, they will be personally responsible for maintaining their living quarters and personal items. In addition, they will be required to pack their belongings at the end of their stay and will have to learn the responsibility of organizing their items for the trip home.

Teamwork. One of the most important experiences at a traditional summer camp is that of learning to work together as a team. Whether it be during a sports event, a canoeing trip or other group activity, teamwork is often required. Much like in adulthood where teamwork is essential to everyday life, children will learn the valuable lessons of working with their peers toward achieving a common goal.

Friendship. While at a traditional kids summer camp, new friends will be met and there is plenty of fun to be had. Learning to make friends and how to be a good friend is an important life lesson that is not only important at a traditional summer camp, but also in every day. Situations are always presented when individuals are placed with new faces in school, the workforce, families, etc. Therefore, it is important for children to learn the value of friendship and how it can make every day a little brighter.

Experiences. Traveling to new places, embarking on an exciting journey and exploring the wilderness are all a part of what makes a traditional kids summer camp so special. A nature hike, sailing on a blanket of calm water or sitting around the campfire with friends are just a few of the experiences that a child may encounter while enrolled in a traditional kids summer camp.

"Clean Your Plate" Is Not Always The Way To Go For Healthy Kids

2010-01-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

"Clean Your Plate" Is Not Always The Way To Go For Healthy Kids

According to obesity researchers, the United States obesity rate has more than doubled for preschoolers and adolescents-and more than tripled for ages 6 to 11-over the past 30 years. Obese children are at greater risk for health problems such as diabetes and heart disease, and often carry these problems into adulthood.

So, how do parents help children, and the entire family, eat healthier, both at home and away-from-home?

"Talk to your pediatrician, family doctor or registered dietitian to determine the healthiest weight goals for the entire family," said nutrition expert Jenifer Bland-Campbell, "then make a plan to tackle the issue."

She offers these tips to help parents help their families eat more healthfully:

� Eat at least one meal together daily, at regular intervals to discourage snacking.

� Prepare healthy dishes for the whole family, not just special foods for an overweight child.

� Don't use food as a reward, comfort or punishment.

� Watch portions. "Clean your plate" is not always the way to go.

� Eat slowly. It takes almost 20 minutes for the brain to register that the body is full.

� Encourage water or skim or 1% milk instead of high-calorie, sugary drinks.

� Getting kids to eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruits each day will not be easy, but focus on the colors to make it more fun. Visit www.5aday.org for more tips.

� Use low-fat or fat-free dressings, mayonnaise and dairy items at home as if they are the full-fat versions. Kids will take your cues. Ask for the same items on the side when eating away-from-home.

� Take the stairs. When you go shopping, park the car farther away from the store and walk.

� Limit television, video games or computer time.

� Replace mayonnaise and cheese on burgers or sandwiches with catsup, mustard or barbecue sauce.

� Stick with items that are baked, broiled, steamed or poached-not fried.

� Ask for nutritional information when eating out.

� Look beyond the children's menu, often limited to fried, high-calorie, high-fat foods. Split one healthier adult entre'e between two children.

� Ask for a takeout container and put some of the food in before you eat.

� Ask that bread, beverages and tortilla chips be served with the meal, not beforehand.

"Parents can help children reach wellness goals by first making healthy changes at home, then teaching kids what to do away from home," said Bland-Campbell. "Healthy eating does not happen overnight, but children take cues from their parents and will learn behaviors over time."

Bland-Campbell is a registered dietitian with ARAMARK, a company that manages food service programs at businesses, colleges, hospitals, and approximately 4,000 schools across the country.

You can find research on the away-from-home nutritional preferences of Americans at ARAMARK'S Web site, www.diningstyle.com. There, parents can find their own dining style and receive tips from dietitians on more ways to eat better.

10 Reasons To Read To Your Child

2010-01-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

10 Reasons To Read To Your Child

We all know that learning to read is important, but as parents what do we do to facilitate this milestone?

Reading to your child has many benefits one of which is simply having time to snuggle together.

Here are 10 reasons to read to your child.

1.When you read to your child, he/she will learn that reading is important to you, therefore reading will become important to him/her.

2.The more your child hears sounds, the better he/she will process these sounds into words. When a child is preschool/kindergarten age the listening word starts to become the written word.

3.Reading has a calming effect on a restless or fussy baby. Who doesn't want an easy way to calm a fussy baby?

4.Reading is a wonderful before bed routine. Studies have shown that a child will thrive in an atmosphere in which routines are present.

5.Reading will help to develop your child's imagination. Have you ever gotten lost in a good book? Your child can do the same while you are reading to him/her.

6.Reading will foster your child's ability to listen and pay attention. With all the problems we here about concerning attention spans this is a great way to avoid that.

7.Reading to a young child will teach him/her the correct way to hold a book and turn the pages.

8.Reading to your child will develop in him/her the desire to become a reader.

9.Teachers will thank you

10.When a child is read a personalized story book, he/she will be able to recognize his/her name in print at an early age.

Isn't it exciting to think that you can have such an effect on your child's ability to read just by reading to him/her? You have the power to develop a life long joy of reading and learning in your child. WOW! Just read.

3 Ways To Inspire A Love Of Reading In Your Children

2010-01-05T07:14:00.000-08:00

3 Ways To Inspire A Love Of Reading In Your Children

If your child is showing little interest in reading, there is hope. Sometimes moms and dads have to get sneaky, but you can still turn your child into a reader, even if he is reluctant about it.

1. The Early Bedtime trick.

One of my favorite ways to get my kids to read is something they hopefully will not figure out until they have kids of their own. Two words "Early Bedtime".

You might be wondering how an increase in sleep can help your child to spend more time reading. Well, here's the trick. Set their bedtime for 45 minutes to an hour before they need their lights out.

Here's how our bedtime routine goes. The kids brush teeth and use the bathroom. Then I read them their stories. This is all done before their official bedtime. Then, I simply give them an option. I say "It's time for bed, now. Would you like lights out or would you like to stay up and read for a bit?"

Unless they are really tired, they'll always choose to read awhile. I do not have to beg nor manipulate them into reading. In fact, they think it's their idea and they have grown to love their chance for a 'late' bedtime. Then, I back off. I don't try to instruct them in any way, nor help them choose books. This is their time. They can choose whichever book they like and look at it however they like until I come in to kiss them goodnight and turn their lights out. Of course, if they want me to stay and listen to them read, I'm more than happy to comply. Try it. It works.

2. Summer reading incentives.

You can sign up for a summer reading program at pretty much any library in the country. If your local library does not have a summer reading program, then create one at home, with rewards for reading books. You can use a Monopoly (or Life) board and allow your child to move one space for each book he reads. Or if you want to have more fun, let him roll the dice each time he reads a book and have prizes available for passing certain points.

Make sure the rewards are something very desirable. If your child values time with you more than toys, then set a date together doing his favorite thing. If he values a certain toy, let him earn it. Or let him earn a chance to get out of his regular chores. Take him to his favorite restaurant. Just have fun with it and he will, too.

3. Read the book before you can see the movie.

This is a standard in our home. We won't go see any movie until we've read the book. Whether my husband and I read the book to the kids or they read it alone, each member of the family can go see the movie after the book is read. So, if your child is looking forward to seeing the next Chronicles of Narnia movie, the next Harry Potter movie or the next Lemony Snicket movie, they'll have to read the book first.

That's it. Three easy ways to turn your child into a reader for life.

10 amazing baby abilities

2010-01-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

10 amazing baby abilities

For new parents the arrival of the newborn brings a lot of excitement in their lives. They might look fragile and vulnerable, which they are, but there are some surprising things babies can do, much to the delightful fun of many people.

Most of the babies can do the following surprising things to us:

1. They can hear everything! Babies hear extremely well: they receive up to 20 000 vibrations per minute, while adults receive only 14 000. The fetus starts to react to sounds since the beginning of the 24th week of pregnancy and a week after delivery they easily distinguish their mother's voice from the voice of other people.

2. In the case of distinguishing from the mother tongue and a foreign language, the mimic plays an important part for babies. In USA, a test was made: to some babies a videotape recorded in English but with no sound was played. Later on, another tape without sound was played, but recorded in French. The babies showed clearly more interest to the French videotape than to the one recorded in their mother tongue because they considered familiar the English tape. Unfortunately this ability is lost after the age of 6 months.

3. Prattling with the hands. Studies have shown that babies who grow up confronted with a sign language also try to communicate with their hands. They do it (like in the case of learning foreign languages) slow and unsteady at the beginning-they prattle with the hands!

4. I'm watching you mummy! Long before humans can speak they understand what others say. It seems that babies understand through observing the mimic of the nearby persons. So, mummy, be careful when you say something!

5. The older they are the smarter they get? That's what we think. Researchers have discovered that as we pass through the life we lose some of our abilities, especially the ability of learning. This ability is most effective at the age of 6 months. So, the idea that they are young and they can not or do not know is just an illusion.

6. I'm just like you daddy! During the first days of life the new generation seems to resemble to the father. This is only a joke nature plays: it has decided that so all fathers in the world �long before genetic tests were invented- could recognize their babies and take care of them and their mothers.

7. Little Einstein. �Mary has 21 candies and gets another 19. Tommy has 51. Who has more candies?' Of course, who knows how to add knows the answer. Here's what tests say: even some children who do not know how to add can indicate the right answer. They have a great intuition!

8. What are you looking at?! It is not difficult at all for grownups to distinguish human faces from one another even if they might look alike. Still, when we have to distinguish between two resembling figures of monkeys we are totally unable. Not the same thing happens to the babies. Tests have proven that they possess this ability, but they lose it in time.

9. Can taste and smell and have shown preferences for their own mother's...(read the full article at the link below)

10 Birthday Gifts Your Kids Will Love

2010-01-03T01:48:00.000-08:00

10 Birthday Gifts Your Kids Will Love

Everyone loves a special gift on their birthday: especially our kids! I have put together a list of 10 memorable gifts you can gift your children on their birthday without breaking the bank.

Art supplies: almost all kids enjoy crayons, markers, stickers, colored pencils, gel pens, special papers and scissors, sidewalk chalk, water colors, homemade rubber stamps, "how to draw" books calligraphy instructions, or origami instructions and colored paper. An art supply gift not only encourages the youngsters to use their imagination, but it can be an extra treat when you spend time with them using them.

Books are always great gifts for any age: you can get musical or squeaky books for the little ones, short stories for preschoolers, adventure books for 9-11 year olds, and so on: there is a book for every taste. You can also buy books about your child's interests, books about careers, etc.

A classic movie, which never goes out of style, great for when friends come over, or on that day when they are bored and nothing else could help.

For older boys, a tool kit would be great: gives them the opportunity to work side by side with dad, and possibly learn a life skill.

For older girls, beads could mean hours of fun. Buy a variety of colors and shapes and watch you little princess enjoy hours of happiness.

To the gourmand give a roll of sugar cookie dough from the grocery store, along with a couple of cookie cutters, and a rolling pin. Again, this would be a lot of fun for the little one to make, and share with friends and family.

For the nature lover, a gardening kit with a couple of small pots filled with potting soil, some seeds, and a plastic watering can give countless hours of fun, while caring for the plants, and watching them grow.

A disposable camera will add a boost to the party. If your budget permits, add a small picture album, and you've instantly created wonderful memories of that birthday.

A basket of fun: find an inexpensive basket, or another container, maybe a pail for kids and fill it with fun, cheap stuff. For instance, silly putty, a water gun, a deck of cards, sidewalk chalk, etc. For boys, you can add some little cars and for girls, throw in some hair accessories. Finish it off with some candy or a pez dispenser and you have a fun gift. If you find some fun, small things that most kids think are neat, pick up a bunch so that at any time you have a supply of items to mix and match for a birthday.

Children crave attention from important people in their lives, (mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, older sibling). Give that special child the gift of time: a day out with you complete with lunch, a movie, and/or shopping for the gift of

their choice.

5 Great Ways To Enrich Your Children's Conscience

2010-01-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

5 Great Ways To Enrich Your Children's Conscience

Children are living with curiosity. They learn lots of things in life, gifted naturally with intuition, and open toward everything they find.

Everything seems to be interesting to them. That's why they want to know about many things. It's indeed a sign of good development.

Parents need to help children develop their conscience, which will be a great means of getting spiritual experiences. Through these, they'll learn about self-esteem and moral values.

Of course parents want children have and familiar with good values in life. As parents, what can you do then? Here are 5 ways you can do to enrich their conscience:

� Give good examples. What you say and do everyday reflect what you think about the world. If you say good stuff, your children will do the same. Children are great imitators. It's important for you to say and do nice things anytime anywhere.

� Listen when they talk. Sometimes your children ask questions that sound silly to adults, like "Mom, where does the sun sleep when the night comes?" Listen to them and answer seriously, "The sun doesn't sleep. It shines in other places in the world." By listening, children will feel that they get respect from their parents.

� Show happiness. Show and share all the happiness and positive energy and thoughts with the children. If you're happy, they're happy too. By doing this, the children will learn that life is enjoyable.

� Introduce them to nature. Tell them that all things happen in the world are connected to each other and that there's a reason for it. For example, water is needed to irrigate plants and plants are food source for other living creatures.

� Be flexible with your rules. Children should be informed about what they should do. However, always take notice on their development. There will be time when they can decide what they want to do. By being flexible with your rules, children will stay cheerful and expressive.

Those 5 tips are actually easy to carry out. Just place yourself as your children's parents and friends as well.

Again, remember that children are good imitators. Once you do or say something bad, there's a great chance that they will do or say the same.

3 Reasons Mom Should Have A Hobby

2010-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

3 Reasons Mom Should Have A Hobby

Moms these days are so very busy, but we're more stressed than ever before and in need of lifestyle choices that help us be happier. Pursuing a hobby may be just the ticket.

Here are a few reasons why a hobby is a great idea, even for a busy Mom.

Having a hobby relieves stress and tension

Spending time with a hobby replaces negative thoughts and replaces them with positive thoughts and feelings. Having a hobby or creative outlet can lift your spirits and help with depression.

Unlike passive activities like television viewing, a hobby provides intellectual stimulation while simultaneously relaxing you. Repetitive actions like those used in knitting are especially calming.

Hobbies help you parent better

We are so good at signing our children up for lessons and classes and encouraging them to have hobbies, even paying for these classes and driving them to and fro! But we forget that we also need to learn new things and grow as people. Hobbies also connect you with other people who share your interests.

A hobby can help you maintain your separate identity as a real person and not just as Mom. This models healthy habits and boundaries for our kids.

Hobbies provide a refreshing change from your daily routine

If you're a stay at home Mom, you may be frustrated because at the end of the day you can hardly point to anything you've "done". This is because of the repetitive nature of housework and childcare.

In generations past, women pursued hobbies like quilting, sewing, knitting, crochet and embroidery not only because they were enjoyable but because they provided tangible value to the family, either providing clothing for their backs or much needed income.

Some hobbies like tennnis, gardening or belly dancing can even provide great exercise with all of its accompanying benefits. The best exercise activity is one that combines mind and body and is enjoyable to pursue.

Why not carve out some time to pursue your hobby Mom? Don't let a shortage of time stop you. Rearrange your schedule and put YOU back in it, and start carving out time for your favorite pastime.

"Safety First" Tips For Water Fun

2010-01-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

"Safety First" Tips For Water Fun

There may be few better ways to spend a hot day than at the beach, lake, water park or swimming pool but amid all the fun and games it is important to put safety first.

Learning to swim and be safe in and around the water are important survival skills. Accidents only take a few seconds to occur, but they can often be prevented by ensuring your loved ones follow simple water safety guidelines.

Pioneers in swimming instruction and water safety, the nation's YMCAs are celebrating 100 years of group swimming instruction to children and adults. The YMCA offers these tips to help keep you and your loved ones safe in and around the water during the summer and at any time of year:

� Make sure children are supervised by an adult at all times.

� No one, not even adults, should ever swim alone.

� Be prepared in an emergency by learning lifesaving, first aid and CPR techniques.

� Always have a stocked first aid kit, phone, emergency numbers and sunscreen close at hand.

� Follow the posted rules in any water environment.

� Backyard pools should have posted rules, ring buoy and security fences with self-closing gates and childproof locks.

� If you have an above-ground pool, secure and lock the steps or remove them completely when not in use.

� Be aware of water depth, incline and any underwater obstructions before diving. Never dive in water less than nine feet deep.

� Children should use U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jackets. Avoid inflatable toys including armbands or "swimmies"-they can be dangerous, giving a false sense of confidence.

� And finally, everyone should learn swimming and basic water safety skills. The YMCA offers swimming classes for all ages and levels.

21 Reasons To Send A Child A Greeting Card

2010-01-01T03:43:00.000-08:00

21 Reasons To Send A Child A Greeting Card

When was the last time you saw the face of a child light up and glow because they got a piece of mail with their name on it? Children love to get mail. My children, even at 10 years of age, run to the door and ask if they got any mail today. It doesn't even matter if it is junk mail. They just like to get anything with their names on it. Of course, it means that much more if there is a special reason for the mail.

Sending letters or greeting cards is a good way to foster a love of communication and writing in children. In our society, instant messaging, text messaging, and short emails have all but killed the art of good communication. Studies indicate that the more a child reads, the smarter they are. However, it can often be difficult to get some children to read due to lack of interest. I bet there isn't a child around that wouldn't be interested in reading a card or letter addressed to them from someone they care about. And, of course, if a child is raised to expect that letters and greeting cards are a regular occurrence, they are more likely to become better communicators themselves.

So take some time and send a greeting card to a child in your life. Here are just a handful of reasons you can use to send a greeting card to a child you know and help to make their day that much brighter.

1. They got an A on a test or report card. Make the joy of doing well last just a little longer.

2. They said, "Please".

3. It's their birthday, Valentine's Day, Easter, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, etc�

4. They were well-behaved.

5. They did something special for someone (even if it wasn't you). It helps to foster the trait of good will when they get some feedback for what they have done.

6. They helped with dinner.

7. Just to say, "I appreciate you". Do they really know how valuable they are to you?

8. They said, "Thank you".

9. Just to say, "You're Special".

10. They did a great job on their chores. Rewards for a job well done encourage more of the same.

11. Because you haven't seen them and want them to know you miss them.

12. Say thanks for being my ...(son, daughter, grandchild, niece, nephew, friend, etc�).

13. They made the honor roll.

14. They helped in the yard.

15. Remind them of an exciting event that is coming up.

16. Remind them of a neat experience you had together.

17. Tell them something special about yourself.

18. Tell them something special about someone you both know.

19. Share a joke you just heard.

20. They brought home a warm fuzzy note from the teacher.

21. Just to say you love them. Do you really need any more of a reason than that?

Will you be taking just a few minutes out of your busy schedule today to foster the emotional and mental development of a child in your life? I know I will.

10 Ways To Make Sure Your Child's Toys Are Safe

2009-12-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

10 Ways To Make Sure Your Child's Toys Are Safe

The whole scenario behind the invention of toys is that they are to be enjoyed, but part of that enjoyment includes making sure the toys are safe for your children. There are 10 simple steps that you can take to ensure that your child enjoys his/her toys while taking the appropriate steps to make sure they are safe.

Follow the age recommendations on the package.

This information is typically written in smaller print and is often located in a lower corner, or back, of the box.

If the toy contains small parts, consider your child's behavior before purchasing.

Even if he/she is in the age range recommended by the manufacturer, parents must consider whether or not their child behaves mature enough to handle the toy and it's parts.

Never leave a child unattended when playing with a toy that features small parts.

Even if you step away for a minute, that may be all that it would take for your child to decide to put the toy in his/her mouth. This can be very dangerous, so always provide as much supervision as possible while your child is playing with his/her toys and even more so if they feature any small parts. At the same time, never allow children to run with any toys that have sharp or protruding points.

Never allow the child to put toys in his/her mouth.

If the child were to swallow any part of the toy, or accessories, the result could be tragic. If you see the child putting his/her toys in their mouth, remove them immediately while saying "no" in a firm voice. It is not necessary to take the toys away from the child, but they should be closely supervised.

Pay close attention to consumer safety department notices and product recalls.

This information is very important because it provides updated information as to the safety of certain products, along with any that have been recently found to have defects. In the latter case, a product recall may be issued in order to avoid injuries. Never allow a child to play with toys that have been recalled or are not deemed to be safe.

Make sure that any drawing markers, paint or crayons that you purchase are non-toxic.

On every product that has been tested and is proven to be non-toxic, the label will indicate any such findings. Look closely on the back of the packaging in search of this seal before buying these types of art accessories.

If a toy is painted, make sure that the paint is not coming off.

This could be dangerous if the child were to put the toys in his/her mouth or if it were to get in their eyes, so be very mindful of chipping or peeling paint.

Make sure toys and dolls are flame retardant.

This is very important for the obvious reasons and to protect the safety of your child.

Make sure that the toys are an authentic product and not a cheap imitation, which may indicate cheaper manufacturing.

When shopping for toys, always make sure that you are getting what you pay for.

Monitor the message or rating that a toy or video game is promoting.

These days, so many toys are promoting unhealthy messages or ideals. It is important to monitor the toys that your child enjoys in order to make sure that the influences they are getting are the best for their age.

5 Must Ask Questions For Anyone Potty Training A Toddler

2009-12-31T03:43:00.000-08:00

5 Must Ask Questions For Anyone Potty Training A Toddler

If you are thinking about starting to potty train your toddler, there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you begin potty training. Being well prepared for this challenging transition from diapers to potty is one of the best things you can do to make this as easy as possible on your child.

1. Is My Child Ready?

You want to start potty training at just the right time. You will know that your child is ready when he or she gets more interested in you going to the potty, tells you right away when the diaper is wet or pulls on it and seems uncomfortable with it. Give potty training a try, if your child doesn't seem ready despite the signs, wait a few weeks and try again.

2. Am I Ready?

Just as important as your child being ready is that you are ready. Prepare yourself mentally for the transition from diaper to potty for your child. You will need a lot of patience and understanding. There are going to be resentment, tears and the occasional accident. Make sure you are prepared for this so you can stay calm and supportive for your child.

3. Do We Need A Potty Chair?

A regular toilet is very intimidating for a child. The seat is rather large and your child will have to hold on to avoid falling in. In addition "things" vanish in there when you flash � which can be a pretty scary thought for your child. Many kids are more comfortable with a potty chair at first. After a few weeks you should be able to move on to a potty seat insert that fits on your regular toilet eliminating the potty cleanup.

4. Should We Use A Potty Doll?

A potty doll is not a necessity when it comes to potty training, but can be a great tool. A potty doll will pee like an actual child and usually comes with diapers, panties and a potty chair. The doll can help tremendously during the pre-potty training phase when you are getting your child used to the idea of going in the potty instead of the diaper. You can illustrate what's supposed to happen on the doll and let your child warm up to the idea by playing with the doll in the same fashion. When you are ready to potty train, put the doll on the potty right next to your child.

5. Should We Use Potty Training Rewards?

Before you start potty training, you should decide if you are going to use some sort of rewards as encouragement for your child, or if you will simply make your child feel great about his successes by being his cheer leader. Simple potty training rewards can include stickers, candy like a few jellybeans or M&M's, or you can use some sort of tracking chart for bigger rewards (i.e. If you use the potty for an entire week without accident, you get a small toy). Using simple rewards can be a great potty training tool, but it isn't by any means necessary as long as you get the message across to your child that you are proud of him.

Take a few minutes to answer these potty training questions for yourself and go over them with your spouse as well to ensure you are on the same page before you start potty training your child. It will help you give your child a clear picture of what you are both trying to accomplish and will cut down on any confusion.

15 New Year's resolutions for parents

2009-12-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

15 New Year's resolutions for parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan. While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them. Don't be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world's hardest job but children aren't born with owner's manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year's resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year's resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids' misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to �teach them a lesson'.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings. It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of �deaf' children. There is usually nothing wrong with children's hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on children's positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children's misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible. Get into the habit of �catching kids being good'. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children's self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children. Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That's a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Don't be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don't talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Let's face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt. Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child's school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families. Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of children's fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children's battles then leave it up to them to resolve. When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your children's computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents. Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn't get her own way? Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children's demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the �good' parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life's difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility. They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children's overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world's worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out. Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe

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Michael Grose � www.parentingideas.com.au

10 Parenting Tips For All New Parents

2009-12-30T12:39:00.000-08:00

10 Parenting Tips For All New Parents

If you are like most parents, you probably want to raise healthy, smart kids. You may already have some ideas on how to achieve this. Here are some parenting tips that will help parents ensure their children develop to their full potential.

One of the parenting tips that work best is giving your children quantity and quality time. When you spend time with your kids, try to engage them in meaningful conversations. Try to build fun and healthy communications and relationships while the kids are young.

In many homes, parents do not really talk to their kids when they are young. But when the kids become teens, these parents desperately want to talk to their teens. But the opportunity is not there anymore. Try not to become average parents. According to statistics, an average American parent spends less than fifteen minutes a week in serious discussion with their children.

Practice and develop good habits. It is important that you push your kids to exercise their faith and put into action the lessons that they have received. For example, it is one thing to learn about charity and caring, but it is another thing to volunteer some time to visit nursing homes and serve the elderly. Or participate in building a house for the poor.

Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher, said that virtues are acquired by the development of habits. At first it may feel like a duty to maintain good habits but it will become easier as time goes by, and soon they will exercise good habits effortlessly.

Be a good role model. It is hard trying to teach children something when we do not do it ourselves. When they hear you lying about something, what kind of message are you sending to your children? Because action speaks louder than words, your kids will probably imitate our good and bad habits more than listening to our words.

Be involved parents. Involved parents are parents who monitor their kids' media consumption, know whether the teachings in school are in line with their values and are acquainted with their friends. You should have a good rapport with your kids. Nobody is perfect but the more you become involved in your children's lives, the better your chances of raising them to be good citizens.

Have a strong and healthy relationship. Having a strong and healthy marriage or relationship is not only good for you but also for your children. A thriving family unit is a good deterrent for anti-social behavior.

One thing for sure: it is hard enough to raise a child with two parents, let alone a single parent. Research shows that two years after a divorce, many boys have trouble concentrating, do poorly on intelligence tests, and have difficulty with math. Should your relationship break down ensure that your children continue to have full support from both parents.

Get connected with other parents. We need support and encouragement from other parents and you'll no doubt learn new parenting tips from them. It is good to know that you are not the only ones who may be struggling. You can encourage one another to hang in there and continue to do the right thing.

5 Parenting Tips To Help Your Child Get More Exercise

2009-12-29T20:48:00.000-08:00

5 Parenting Tips To Help Your Child Get More Exercise

Was parenting easier forty years ago?

As a mom in the new millennium, I dream about the idea of parenting in a world where streets are safe and parents can let their children run freely through the neighborhood, their bodies naturally challenged with the exercise of play.

Instead today, before the slam of the car door fades and the backpack drops on the floor, the TV is switched on and the last few hours of daylight disappear in a haze of video games and over processed snack foods.

Even the concerned, well-meaning parent can often stand helpless, wondering how to compete against marketing genius and instant gratification. Exercise and carrot sticks have a hard time competing with Xboxes, SpongeBob and potato chips.

The proof is all around us. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the health of too many North Americans is in danger because of unhealthy lifestyles. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity)

The latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 30 percent of U.S. adults 20 years of age and older - over 60 million people - are obese. The CDC reports the percentage of young people who are overweight has more than tripled since 1980.

My kids aren't obese - why should I be concerned?

Your kids are normal, right? You are parenting just fine. But in a world where walking is limited, school P.E. programs are being cut, and cars, elevators and buses eliminate our chance to exercise naturally, we need to make a concerted effort to make physical activity part of our day and our children's days.

Despite all the benefits of being physically active, most Americans are sedentary. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/contributing_factors.htm). Inactive children are likely to become inactive adults. (www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4596)

So as parents how can we get our kids moving?

"The American Heart Association recommends that children and adolescents participate in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day."

The great news is exercise comes in many forms and can be a lot of fun! With a little creativity you can easily add some fun physical activity into your parenting style.

1. Lead the way

You need to set a good example. Kids, especially younger children, naturally follow their parents. So make sure you are looking after your own health and making physical activity a priority in your life.

2. Do it together

In today's overscheduled world, we need to make sure we are spending quality time with our children. What better way than to be active together. Since kids can't be alone roaming the neighborhood, parents need to play with them.

3. Make it fun

Put on some music and dance. Play tag. Roller blade. Basically just play. Provide them with toys and equipment that encourage them to be active while having fun.

Bikes, scooters, hockey sticks and baseball bats will get your kids moving and active. For preschool children, ride on toys that get them exercising like pedal cars, big wheels and tricycles are always a great parenting decision.

4. Cheer them on

Create positive reinforcements with encouragement and support. Help them find sports and activities that build their self esteem. Attend their sporting events and let them know you are their biggest fan whether they win or lose.

5. Turn it off

Of course, we need to limit the time our kids watch TV and play video games. But make sure you do it in a positive way. If they are angry that you just turned off their favorite show, they might not be too excited about going out rollerblading with you.

Allow screen time during designated hours, preferably after homework is done and when physical activity is finished, like in the evening or on Saturday morning when tired parents might need to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.

Adding more physical activity into your family's routine will help you all feel better and get you having more fun together. Most importantly, as you model a healthy lifestyle you will help instill in your children lifelong habits and healthy attitudes toward exercise and physical activity.

"They Should Have Beat Me More" - The Cycle Of Physical Abuse

2009-12-29T02:25:00.000-08:00

"They Should Have Beat Me More" - The Cycle Of Physical Abuse

In December, 2005, I conducted a two-day workshop with men who had recently been released from prison for domestic violence. With the men were their wives, as well as the father of a batterer who was still in prison.

The father, Douglas, sat in front of me, sharing his childhood experiences.

"My momma was a very loving woman � a big-hearted, hard working loving woman," he told me. From my many years of counseling, I knew that my definition of love and his definition of love were likely very different.

"Did she ever beat you?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. She beat me all the time. My daddy beat my momma and my momma beat me. But she beat me because I was bad. I was really bad. Maybe if she had beat me more, I wouldn't have been so bad."

"What did she beat you with?"

"Anything she could get her hands on. Extension cords, wooden spoons. Often I had to go into the yard and pick out the switch."

"How did you feel when you knew you were going to get a beating?"

"Oh, I was terrified. I'd beg and plead and promise not to do again whatever it was she was mad at. But that never worked. I always got the beating. Then after the beating she would tell me that she loved me, that it was for my own good, and that it hurt her more than it hurt me."

"And how were you bad?"

"Well, sometimes I'd come in late, and sometimes I would talk back. Then I got into alcohol and drugs at a very early age. Maybe if she had beat me more, I wouldn't have done the alcohol and drugs."

"Why do you think you did the alcohol and drugs?"

"I was just hurtin' too much. It took me outta all the pain for awhile."

"What was the pain?"

"I don't know. I was just hurtin' a lot."

"Do you think it is possible that you were hurting because the woman who was supposed to protect you was instead hurting you? That she was confusing you by telling you she loved you while she was beating and terrifying you? That there was no one to turn to for safety and nurturing? That you were scared much of the time for fear of the beatings? That you were terribly lonely and could not turn to your parents because they were the ones causing the pain?"

Silence��Then he looked at me in shock. As the light bulb when on in his mind, the tears started rolling down his weathered cheeks. Soon he was sobbing.

"That's right�That's right�.The beatings were the problem. More beatings would not have helped. And I beat my children thinking it was the right thing to do, and now my son is in prison for beating his wife and protective services want to take away their daughter. And I almost hit her the other day when she didn't mind me. I'm so glad I didn't. This has to stop! This has to stop!"

I looked around the room. Everyone was in tears. Kathy, the wife of one of the batterers, spoke up, sobbing.

"I've always hit my kids, and no matter what anyone told me about it not being good, it never made sense to me. This is the first time I understand why it's not a good or loving way to discipline my kids. And I can see why I'm having so many problems with my older son and why he is on drugs. He has always been furious with me and I had no idea why. Now I understand. I need to learn a new way to discipline. I'm going to take a parenting class and start reading parenting books."

I hugged Douglas for the profound work he did, and for the effect his work was having on everyone in the room. I thanked God for giving me the privilege of working with these people. All of them, it turned out, had been severely beaten as children.

I am deeply grateful to James Beard who conducts workshops within the prison with batterers and to Lindsay Wagner, who also works with these men and their families. Both of them were assisting me at this workshop. We all smiled at each other in deep gratitude for the healing that was taking place.

'No Child Left Behind': What it Means for Parents

2009-12-28T22:46:00.000-08:00

'No Child Left Behind': What it Means for Parents

The No Child Left Behind Act is a landmark education reform law that is already improving academic performance across the land. One of its chief aims is to close the troubling achievement gap that separates many disadvantaged, disabled and minority students from their peers.

To do this, it measures student performance and focuses extra resources and attention on those most in danger of falling behind. But what about the schools themselves?

Under No Child Left Behind, schools that receive federal funds to help teach and prepare educationally disadvantaged children must make what is called "Adequate Yearly Progress" in reading, language arts and mathematics. These clearly defined benchmark goals, which will be raised over time, have been put in place by each of the 50 states based upon what is appropriate for their local school districts.

If a school does not reach its annual goals, it is given extra assistance and another chance. If it again does not succeed the following year, the school is deemed "in need of improvement." Extra resources are provided to the school, and new options and choices are provided to its students and parents.

As states release their lists of schools that underperformed over the last school year, parents should be alert to their school's status. They may be eligible for free tutoring or after-school classes for their children, or entitled to choose another public school that better meets their needs.

Parents of children in schools deemed "in need of improvement" should contact their local school officials to find out if their children are eligible for these and other services.

If a school continues to underperform for five or more years in a row, school officials must develop and implement a two-year plan to turn around the school. The local school district will ensure that the school receives needed technical assistance as it develops and implements its improvement plan.

Parents who get involved - by enforcing attendance, supervising homework and setting academic goals - are less likely to see their children left behind in school. Ways that parents can help their child's school succeed include:

* Attending parent-teacher meetings to address academic or discipline problems.

* Participating in school board meetings.

* Volunteering to serve during school hours or in extracurricular activities.

* Encouraging other parents to become involved.

* Tapping into community or private-sector resources.

* Learning about No Child Left Behind and how it can benefit their child.

13 Things For Your Child To Do Instead Of Watch Tv

2009-12-28T00:11:00.000-08:00

13 Things For Your Child To Do Instead Of Watch Tv

C'mon, admit it. You sometimes use the television set as a cheap babysitter. That's ok...we ALL do it sometimes! Ah, but it's a double-edged sword, because kids who watch a lot of TV have trouble keeping themselves entertained, which in the long run makes your job harder!

If you're trying to limit the TV viewing in your household, you might need a little inspiration. Try these TV-free activities guaranteed to keep the kids busy... at least for a little while!

1) Make ...

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If you're trying to limit the TV viewing in your household, you might need a little inspiration. Try these TV-free activities guaranteed to keep the kids busy... at least for a little while!

1) Make paper airplanes

Warning: This one is highly addictive! My two boys absolutely love making paper airplanes. Buy them a book on the fine arts of paper airplane making, and then put your feet up and read a book.

2) Make a tower with toothpicks and peas

Go ahead- encourage them to play with their food!

3) Make homemade ice cream

Put two parts milk and cream and one part sugar in a coffee can, with any flavorings you want. Put the lid on, then put it in a bigger can and pour ice around the little can. Put rock salt on the ice. Put a lid on the big can, and give it to your child to roll it back and forth for about 1/2 hour or until it turns into ice cream! (Do this one even if it's winter...I won't tell!)

4) Give them a magnet and instruct them to run it all over the house and see what they find.

And loose couch change is fair game!

5) If you have bunk beds, put blankets around the lower one and make a submarine. Make it a yellow blanket. Then sing the appropriate Beatles tune.

6) Play First Family Savings and Loan

Save your cancelled checks and fake credit cards that come in the mail. Supply the kids with a calculator, pencils, small table and Monopoly money. This one was my favorite as a kid!

7) Build a mini log cabin with twigs

8) Have a tic-tac-toe tournament

9) Make your own soda.

Here's an easy recipe: http://www.easyfunschool.com/article2052.html

10) Make a card for Grandma.

Get out the rubber stamps, art supplies and construction paper and make a greeting card for Grandma or another loved one.

11) Bake a cake

Buy the kids an easy cake or brownie mix and let them loose in the kitchen. Tell them they can enjoy the fruits of their labors as long as they clean up all mess.

12) Make up a treasure hunt

Buy cheap dollar store toys. Hide in your closet. Make a list of items they must find outside. (A white rock, a feather, a red leaf, a penny, etc) Tell them an exciting booty awaits when they bring all the items to you.

13) Make a cave inside the house.

Put old blankets over the backs of chairs or over a table to make a tent. Grab a flashlight and instruct child to go read scary stories inside it.

10 Natural Ways To Care For Baby's Skin

2009-12-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

10 Natural Ways To Care For Baby's Skin

The skin on your baby is very fragile, delicate and thin. This means the skin is very sensitive and can react easily to weather temperatures and also irritants. Irritants can come from a variety of substances but mainly through the chemicals contained in the products you use on baby. Avoiding these chemicals can be as easy as purchasing organic products but here are 10 other alternatives for you to try.

1. Unbleached disposable nappies.

The Choice website states: As far as dioxins are concerned, they're a family of organochlorins that includes one of the most toxic chemicals yet made. In the past, dioxin traces were found in chlorine-bleached white paper and pulp products, including disposable nappies. However, nowadays nappies are usually oxygen-bleached (using hydrogen peroxide), which forms no dioxin.

However do we know what consequences hydrogen peroxide will bring? There are totally unbleached disposable nappies on the market that ensures your baby does not come into contact with any bleach.

2. Never use talc on baby.

Why? Contamination of wounds or body cavities with talc is liable to cause granulomas. Inhalation of talc can cause respiratory irritation. Prolonged exposure to talc may produce pneumocomosis. Talc is liable to be heavily contaminated with bacteria including Clostridium tetani, CL welchii and Bacillus anthracis, hence it must be sterilized. Mardindale 31 P1096, 1745, 1407 Organic talcs are usually made with corn flour, arrowroot and white clay and are wonderfully safe and very effective for keeping baby's skin dry.

3. Massage oils after bathing.

Avoid mineral based oils as they contribute to the drying of the skin when absorbed. Instead use natural and organic oils that continue to soothe and moisturize baby's skin. Try products that contain sweet almond oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil and chamomile, rose, lavender and mandarin essential oils. But remember to always do a test patch first and watch for any redness or irritation. Do not use if this occurs! You only need the tiniest amount of oil to massage into your baby's skin, less than a teaspoon.

4. Natural bottom wipes.

Homemade bottom wipes can be made easily. Cut a roll of strong paper towel (Viva are great) in half. Take out the cardboard inner roll. Mix two cups of water with � cup sweet almond oil and � cup of organic baby wash. Place one half of the roll into a container and pour over � of the solution. Store in container. Or for just a wiping solution try a cup of cool chamomile tea and a teaspoon of honey mixed well. Honey is a natural antiseptic so it is great for keeping baby's bottom germ free and will help treat existing nappy rash.

5. Soap free washing/bathing.

Newborns can be gently and easily wiped down with rose hydrosol. This is distilled water that contains healing and soothing aromatic rose extracts suitable for the most sensitive of skin types and is very economical as you only use a small amount. Older babies should be washed with organic baby washes as adult products tend to have harsher ingredients that can irritate baby's skin. Use baby washes sparingly.

6. Washing baby's clothes and Manchester.

Always wash baby's clothes and Manchester before using and wash in pure soap flakes or a gentle skin sensitive washing solution. Do not add water softeners or conditioners as these can cause skin irritation. Dissolve the flakes in a little warm water before adding to the washing cycle. Baby's clothes and sheets etc do not need to be disinfected, just dry in the sun.

7. Using organic baby lotion.

Organic baby lotions can be used as an alternative to massage oils and help keep baby's skin from drying out.. However baby's skin is sensitive so monitor the results carefully and discontinue use if any sign of redness or irritation occurs.

8. Sanitizing cloth nappies.

Washing cloth nappies at a temperature of 65 �C or hotter and then drying them in direct sunlight should eliminate any harmful germs as the ultraviolet light has a sterilizing effect and a natural bleaching ability. Natural Nappy Soak: Half fill a nappy bucket, then add a quarter of a cup of bicarbonate of soda and swish to dissolve, add 3 drops of lavender essential oil and 3 drops of tea tree essential oil. Soak nappies in this overnight then wash as per normal. Add half a cup of white vinegar to the final rinse for softer nappies. Always make sure the nappy bucket lid is firmly in place, and always out of reach of children.

9. Umbilical stump tips.

The umbilical stump must be kept clean and dry until it falls off naturally. Fold baby's nappy below the stump so it's exposed to the air and not to urine. Avoid bathing your baby in a bath tub until the stump falls off. Try using the hydrosol wash mentioned above. Studies have shown that leaving the stump to dry out naturally is the quickest method. Do not apply any drying agents as they can cause irritations.

10. Cradle cap care.

Cradle cap is the result of overactive glands in your baby's scalp and is not dangerous. It looks like a crusty patch of skin. This drying has been attributed to the hormones the mother passes to her child at birth and can continue for several months. The gentlest and safest way to cure cradle cap is to wipe the area with sweet almond oil, leave it on for about five-ten minutes then wash baby's scalp with an organic baby wash or shampoo. Do not leave the oil on the scalp as this will cause further dryness as the glands become �confused. Organic baby products that are totally safe to use on your baby are readily available online and through chemists. There really is no excuse to be using chemicals on your baby anymore!

10 Commandments for Parenting

2009-12-24T20:38:00.000-08:00

10 Commandments for Parenting

Here are the wisest commandments ever commended to parents:

1.Thou shalt be consistent. Do as you say you will. Children know where they stand when you are consistent, follow through and mean what you say.

2.Thou shalt expect children to contribute (without being paid). Expect children to help at home but don't expect them to do so graciously all the time. Here is a question to ask yourself from time to time: What do your children do that someone else relies on?

3.Thou shalt encourage regularly and persistently. Remember that encouragement and praise will get children a lot further than criticism and punishment so be your child's best encourager rather than his fiercest critic. Encouragement helps a child link his or her self-esteem to the process, rather than the results of what they do.

4.Thou shalt put responsibility where it belongs. Treat children and young people as you want them to be. If you want responsible, capable children then treat them as if they are responsible. The best way to develop responsibility is to give it to children.

5.Thou shalt be know that children and young people only see one side of any issue. Thou shalt take everything they say with a large grain of salt. Not that children and young people lie, but they have been known to exaggerate or see facts only from their side.

6.Thou shalt show love and affection to your children. Thou shalt say you love each of your children at least once a day. Knowing they are loveable is the basis of self worth, regardless of their age.

7.Thou shalt catch children and young people behaving well. Pay attention to your children's positive behaviour more than their negative behaviour. What you focus on expands so if you focus on the positive behaviour that is what you generally get. Give descriptive feedback so that your children know what they did well. E.g. "That was great the way you two worked out the TV-watching problem without arguing. You both compromised a little which is smart."

8.Thou shalt develop independence in children from the earliest possible age. Never regularly do for a child the things he or she can do for him or herself. Remember, your job is to make yourself redundant.

9.Thou shalt set limits and boundaries for children and expect that they will push against them. Children and young people need limits and boundaries as they make them feel secure.

10.Thou shalt keep a sense of humour when dealing with children. This will help you keep things in perspective. It may seem improbable some days but they will soon grow up and be out of your hair and be a living, breathing reflection of YOU.

The 11th (and most important )commandment:

Thou shalt be a good role model for your children. Show rather than tell children and young people how you want them to communicate, behave and live. Children learn what they live and, as parents, your actions speak louder than your words.

Enjoy!

For information about Michael's Parent Boot Camps, workshops and Parent Coaching programs visit www.parentingideas.com.au

10 Ways To Make Reading Fun

2009-12-22T22:30:00.000-08:00

10 Ways To Make Reading Fun

Learning to read can be a challenging adventure for some children. It seems that everyone from a child's teacher to Mom and Dad and even Grandma is excited and waiting for the child to learn to read. All the pressure and expectations from the adults can sure put a damper on the excitement for the child. This loss of excitement can lead to a child who loses the desire to read. If we as parents can find ways to make reading fun and enjoyable, our children will be more willing to sit down and read a book together.

Here are a few ideas you can do to make reading fun for your child.

Popcorn Reading

This is a fun way for a child to be able to read the words he/she knows and pass on the words that are causing frustration. While reading a book together, each of you take a turn reading aloud. When the one who is reading says the word "popcorn", it is the other persons turn to read.

Reading Buddy

Pair your reader up with an older "reading buddy" and have them read a book out loud together. We all have had times where an explanation of something made more sense coming from one of our peers or a sibling. This gives you child the opportunity to practice reading without an adults watchful eye causing possible nervousness.

Highlight Heaven

Grab an older book and a highlighter and have your child highlight every word one the page that he/she can read. After all the words your child knows are highlighted on the page, take a moment and have your child look and see how many words he/she can actually read. This is quite a confidence booster.

Flashlight Reading

Before your child is too tired at the end of the day, take some time and read in dark room. Take a flashlight with you and read the book by flashlight. Little boys especially like this one.

Secret Hideout

What child hasn't built a fort at one time or another? If you don't already have a fort in your house or outside in the yard, help your child create one. It can a blanket fort, a plywood fort outside, a tree house, or even a simple under to bed fort. (Just make sure you both can fit...being able to get out once you've gotten in is helpful too!) Bring your child's favorite reading book, get comfortable and read away.

Reading Corner

Make a "reading corner" somewhere in your home. Let your child be a part of decorating it and picking just the right spot to place it. Add some bean bags or pillows, maybe a favorite poster on the wall or even some family pictures.

Take a break and just read to your child sometimes

No explanation needed here.

Picture Detective

Have your child flip through a book and look at all the pictures and tell you what he/she thinks is going to happen in the story. Read the story and see how close he/she was.

Pop-up word

Pick one word that your child particularly has a hard time with and every time your child reads that word, both of you stand up. This will help him/her remember the word because an action is associated with it. This works particularly well with kinesthetic learners. (A child who wants to move all the time and likes to touch and feel everything.)

Star of the Story

Have you ever seen a personalized story book where your child's name is printed in the story? This is a unique way to get your reluctant reader excited about a book. In these kinds of books, your child's name and the name of his/her friends are printed in the story-line, making your child the star of his/her very own book! How motivating is that? He/she will have to read the book to find out what kind of adventure he/she will be going on!

To learn more about personalized story books, click the link below.

Sometimes all it takes to make reading fun is some imagination and a change of scenery.

$300 Writing Prize Focuses Kids On Gender Equity

2009-12-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

$300 Writing Prize Focuses Kids On Gender Equity

Harry Potter would be eligible for entry into a contest sponsored by up-and-coming young adult novelist R.J. Nimmo - on one condition.

"He would need some magic spell or potion to change himself from a 'Harry' to a 'Harriet,'" joked Nimmo, who is an expert on entertainment for children and young adults.

"Describing how the famous boy wizard would behave as a witch would be enjoyable for author and reader alike," Nimmo said. "And it is just the kind of fun, witty and creative submission our judges are looking for."

Nimmo, author of the emerging "Mustard Twins" fantasy series, says that trends in literature aimed at young people risk trapping kids in what he calls a "kind of reading time-warp."

"Certainly, where representations of gender in fiction heroes and characters are concerned, kids' books lag way behind today's society," he said. "A lot of popular fiction reflects outdated stereotypes of masculine and feminine roles. And books aimed at children and young adults share much of the blame. I am not only talking about mainstream books either, but Newbery and Caldecott medal winners as well."

To challenge the status quo, Nimmo is encouraging contestants to describe how a favorite fiction book or story hero would act or react in a dramatic situation. But there's a twist: Entrants are first required to swap the hero's gender role or characteristics.

With the contest, Nimmo hopes to positively attune parents and kids alike to the subtle messages being transmitted through popular entertainment.

"Readers - especially younger ones - are constantly being exposed to values that are completely out of step with modern times," he said.

Studies show that, from Harry Potter to Artemis Fowl, boys outnumber girls about four to one in books and TV shows, including those written by women. Furthermore, Nimmo points out, even books with female or gender-neutral names in their titles frequently revolve around a male character.

Why should parents be concerned?

"Society's values are largely transmitted to children through fiction," Nimmo said. "It is therefore important that parents be aware that self-esteem and personal development are influenced by the sort of book and story heroes we emulate as kids."

Nonetheless, Nimmo said, there are things parents can do to sensitize kids to the issue.

"Make sure to include books in your reading selection where individuals are portrayed with distinctive personalities irrespective of gender, where achievements are not evaluated on the basis of gender and where individuals are logical or emotional depending on the situation," he said.

To encourage young people to challenge the conventions in stories and books written for them, Nimmo is offering a $300 cash prize, plus signed copies of his latest novel, "The Ancient Egyptian Ennead," which tells the story of two spunky teenage female heroes and their exploits in ancient Egypt in the time of the pharaohs.

5 Steps To Raising Optimistic Children

2009-12-21T14:57:00.000-08:00

5 Steps To Raising Optimistic Children

I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.

Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?

The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you can't trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you can't get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.

As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!

The Importance of Optimism

Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: "Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health."

Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.

Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their children's developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.

How Parents Can Help

Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to �teach' them.

You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life's events � even parents!

Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.

For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like "I wonder why I'm feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: �Now I'm going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn't drive during rush hour. How rude.'"

Step 3: Create a game called �thought catching.' This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.

For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: "When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?"

Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.

For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are �automatic' in that situation.

Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child's automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).

Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to �decatastrophize' the situation � that is � help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.

Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.

3 Key Challenges To Reduce Homework Time and Stress - What Parents Can Do

2009-12-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

3 Key Challenges To Reduce Homework Time and Stress - What Parents Can Do

Parents have asked us why homework takes their child 2, 3 and even 4 times longer than their peers and what they can do about it. This article defines the 3 key issues and what parents can do about it. Student's key issues often include:

1- Attention is a major problem, both in class and while doing homework

2- They often have one or more vision issues � too often these student's eyes are either: not working together; skipping words or lines when reading; or they have difficulty copying off the board

3- They become tense when doing homework and often lose it

When a student has trouble paying attention in class, they often must be re-taught the information at home. What makes matters worse is that the students homework time which should have taken 45 minutes gets stretched to 1 and � hours due to re-teaching, and then to over 2 hours because they cannot stay focused.

Vision issues impact their homework in several ways:

1- They have trouble copying the notes off the board correctly and you spend time trying to understand the assignment

2- They skip words or lines when reading, further complicating life

3- When they do math problems they do not often align their work correctly, they miss minus and division signs so they make careless errors

Students often get tense when doing homework and battles often follow. What often happens is:

- Students are too intimidated to ask questions in class and they simply get stuck

- The student or parent gets angry and then �

- An argument starts which often escalates into a battle royale

What we recommend is that parents:

- Stay clam when doing homework with your child

- If your child gets stressed, give them a 1 or 3 minute break

- Hydrate them before doing homework and while doing homework

- When reading, use an index card or their finger to keep them on the right line

- If the attention is a significant issue, consider getting an ADHD diagnosis � if they have a learning disability or attention issues significantly impact their academic performance, the student could qualify for an Individualized Education Plan and they could get accommodations for homework which might include:

o Getting copies of notes � either provided by the teacher or by another student

o Seating by the teacher to improve attention

o Having the teacher check to make sure the student has written the assignment correctly

o Having you sign that they completed the assignment and putting it in a place they can find it

o An early warning system, where the teacher alerts you to issues early on

- If vision is a major issue see an optometrist � even if your child has 20/20 vision

At 3D Learner we have helped thousands of parents and students to reduce homework time and stress.

4 Parenting Styles

2009-12-19T04:54:00.000-08:00

4 Parenting Styles

Every grandmother and grandfather will tell you hilarious stories of their children when they were first born. And for every funny and touching story they have, they will be able to tell you another for every hardship they encountered. Parenting is something that is done in many different ways by each parent. The following are four general styles employed by parents.

Authority: Authoritarian parents rule on just that: authority. Commands are given to children that they must follow regardless of the circumstances. If these commands are not followed, harsh punishment will ensue. These parents do not welcome feedback from their children. In fact, it is met with severe punishment. The children tend to be quiet and unhappy. They have more of a fear than a love for their parents. Male children have trouble dealing with anger and female children have trouble facing adversity due to their heavily structured life where nothing ever changes.

Indulgent: Indulgent parents tend to be described as lenient. They allow immature and childish behavior. These parents expect the children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. These parents tend to be democratic and allow for feedback from there children on issues. They will hear both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children.

Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. They're able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what they're child says, questions and requests. These children tend to be the happiest, most confident and self assured of all the mentioned parenting styles. It is very difficult to be a purely authoritative parent.

Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all.

We wish you many happy stories!

Inspiration For Control Freak Parents

2009-12-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

Inspiration For Control Freak Parents

You cannot catch a child's spirit by running after it. You must stand still, and for love it will soon itself return. -Arthur Miller

This became evident to me several summers ago, when I spent 6 weeks suffering with a severe case of hives all over my body. When the itching first began, the only way to find relief was to lie absolutely motionless.

My kids, who are delightfully self-entertaining, went about their business for the first few hours, checking in on me occasionally to see if I needed anything. As the day wore on, they realized that I was a sitting duck. They set up camp on my king size bed, and we proceeded to have some very deep and thought-provoking conversations.

I doubt these interactions would have occurred if I had been my usual productive and bustling self. I probably would have interrupted the quiet time that was necessary for their questions to emerge in order to jump up and fold the laundry before it wrinkled.

I hardly ever sit still when I'm healthy. There's always so much to do. Hives taught me lots of important things ... not the least of which is that the world will not collapse if I don't hold it up. Sure, I fell behind on things. For the first time in my life I left phone calls unreturned, and dishes in the sink, and laundry wet and wrinkled for days.

But the sun continued to rise and set anyway. I didn't lose any friends due to my poor response time. And my kids learned how to take care of dirty dishes and clothes.

My son is a budding chef, and he had lots more freedom in the kitchen when I wasn't there telling him what to do or how to do it better. He was so proud to serve us the delicious meals he had prepared.

I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is drop out and let them experience their own competence. My kids blossomed during my down time. I think it was really great for them to feel needed and important; to make a contribution to the family that really mattered.

Yeah, it's sad that it took a nasty case of hives for me to realize that I was not giving them enough opportunities to experience their own competence, but so be it. Now I know. True confessions of a compulsive caretaker.

Testing my lessons learned, I asked my son if he would fix a towel hook that had fallen off the wall. He seized the mission with zest, gathering all his tools together and tackling the problem with great concentration.

I stayed busy elsewhere in the house and left him alone. I'll never forget the look on his face when he came to tell me the job was done. Not only had he fixed the hook, but he had even cleaned up the mess and put all the tools away!

I've realized that the best way to love my kids has changed as they've grown older. It's not so much about taking care of them anymore. Now they need opportunities to discover their ability to take care of themselves.

I've graduated from being their source to being their resource. My job has changed from doing things for them to expressing my confidence that they can learn to do things for themselves.

Just in the nick of time, too. I've been craving uninterrupted opportunities to write and think and meditate. I'm relieved to know that I can take this time for myself without feeling that I am depriving them somehow.

I guess I needed the reassurance that it was ok, even good for them, that I wanted space to myself. Mama Bird at some point needs to get tough on her babies while getting them ready to fly. Maybe Mother Nature gives her a helping hand by offering her the tool of irritation to toughen her up so she does what must be done.

Traditionally it's been hard for me to trust that even my irritation could be ok. Once more, I have been reminded that all is truly as it should be. And for that, I am grateful.

5 Reasons For Parents To Love Audio Books

2009-12-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

5 Reasons For Parents To Love Audio Books

Quick pop quiz! How can you accomplish the following things with the push of a button:

Help your kids improve their reading skills?

Grow their vocabulary?

Help them sit quietly (willingly!)? and

Entertain them too?

Easy- Play audiobooks!

That's right Mom and Dad, listening to books on tape provide all these benefits and more.

Did you know that for a significant part of their childhood, your kids' intelluctual capacity will be greater than their reading ability? That means that they can understand material when it is read aloud to them that they would not be able to read. Interesting isn't it?

My kids love audiobooks and I love that they love them. As a homeschooling Mom of 4 kids, I do a lot of reading aloud. Audiobooks give my voice a little break.

You can play books on tape when you're in the car running errands. Naptime and bedtime are also favorite times to listen to a story. (And if your kids are like mine, you wear out long before they do so books on tape are a lifesaver for helping them nod off after you've done the bedtime story!)

Listening to audio books strengthens your child's ability to listen, a skill very crucial for their academic achievement.

Audio books also let your child hear fluent reading with a bit of flair... a lot of them are read by the author or professional actors.

If your child is struggling with reading, audio books associate reading with pleasure...so important if your child is to develop a lifelong love of reading!

Audio books help your child learn to visualize a story by using their imagination instead of the pictures (in contrast, watching television trains the brain to be lazy and rely on

images).

Why not get your child on the fast track to reading success with the push of the play button too? To get you started, here are some of my kids' favorite titles:

Charlotte's Web (read by the Author, E.B. White)

The Jamie Lee Curtis collection (And I dare you to get through "Tell me about the night I was born" without crying!)

A New Coat for Anna

The Maurice Sendak collection

The B.F.G. by Roald Dahl

Have fun listening together!

4 Blocks to Building a Lifelong Relationship with Your Daughter

2009-12-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

4 Blocks to Building a Lifelong Relationship with Your Daughter

As with every generation, mothers and daughters share a special bond. Though one is not quite a woman and one, in many ways, is still no longer a girl � they each bear the qualities of each other. Little girls want to grow up fast, and dear sweet moms want to regain their youth. Mothers also know how important it is to be a good role model for their daughters.

So, with only the best of intentions, moms and daughters travel their journeys through life. It is every mother's hope that their daughter grow to be strong, independent, caring, and giving. A mother's dream is to enjoy the fruits of her labor (no pun intended) �to know that her daughter is happy, confident, and kind to all. There are many detours and roadblocks along the way, but you can overcome them using these four building blocks to obtain and maintain a relationship with your daughter that will last a lifetime! Because of your efforts in developing this relationship now, not only will you enjoy a close unique friendship with your daughter, you will also pass on to her the wonderful gift of future strong relationships with her own children. Really, what can be more important and rewarding than that? Not much, it ranks right up there at the top!

Life is based on building blocks. Relationships, too, are based on the same. Given the tools, you can build yours strong�strong to last the bumps in the road and the trials of life. A strong foundation provides the anchors to weather any storm. It's never too late to begin. With each new day comes renewal, forgiveness, and a positive step towards building once again.

BLOCK #1�TRUST. Without trust, any relationship doesn't stand a chance! Trust often is confused as a "given". A God given right! As a loving mother, your daughter has grown to trust YOU. She knows you will pick her up when you say you will. She knows that she is cared for and provided for by YOU. Your daughter also knows your love is unconditional and that regardless of her doings, you'll be there. She might get yelled at, but she TRUSTS you above all. Realize that YOU have earned her trust through word, credibility, and actions.

How about her perception of earning trust? Each young lady must understand that TRUST is earned. The same way YOU earned her trust in YOU! Ask yourself: Why is it that sometimes we feel the need to accredit our children with attributes that should be earned? Our daughters need to understand that trust is patient. The small steps/small rewards process is a journey to gaining their independence. They need to take responsibility for earning the trust, and guarding it dearly, as one of the most valuable aspects of your shared relationship. When you, as her mother, make this important, it becomes important.

There are five steps to establishing trust between a mother and a daughter. Each important and well guarded. They include: HONESTY; AWARENESS; FOLLOW UP; CONSEQUENCE; and finally, PRIVILEGE. Knowing each of them and how to apply these steps to a working relationship is key in maintaining a loving relationship.

BLOCK #2�COMMUNICATION. Funny when our children are born, we seem so in tuned to their needs. We know the difference between a hungry cry and a mad cry. We can sense the slight mood change and worry for hours that there is a cold coming on. As our little girls grow, we teach them to talk. We repeat sounds and clap for joy when they say "ball" and "Mama". We are elated to know that our little girls are on their way. We pay close attention to all of their needs and kiss them softly and quietly goodnight.

Just because we teach language, an ensemble of "sounds" does not mean we teach communication. Communication as defined by Webster is: an act of transmitting OR an exchange of information or opinions. Think about this, "an act of transmitting" which can mean giving orders, commands, and/or instructions. This of course is necessary at times. It means we mean what we say � and do it! No questions, no discussion. This form of communication is certainly acceptable and appropriate at times. Taking the other side of the definition, "an exchange of information" we understand this to be a form of exploring another's opinion, thoughts, and logic. This too is very important. As a matter of fact, this is the foundation of effective communication involving two people.

When does it start? As our girls learn their words at the age of 2, they also begin to learn communication skills. These skills are mostly taught by our physical reactions and not our verbal capabilities.

Physical reactions involve the delivery of our words, the tone of our voices, and the actions of our body. It is not about getting through � it's about logical reasoning and openness to understanding another human being. Since your daughter has already achieved a level of trust in you, she will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support her best interests without threatening her own desires. YOU, as the parent, are in control at all times. YOU just need the tools to help educate your daughter on the ways of the world. With these tools and exercises, you are able to begin to lay the strong foundation of open-minded, free exchange of information without losing your position of authority. Remember communication can be a "two way street" or a single command. Your choice, your control.

BLOCK #3�EFFECTIVE LISTENING. Now that we have defined communication, I urge you�don't spend too much time talking. Teach by actions as well! How? It's easy�(once you understand how). Spend a lot of time listening!!! Effective listening provides an avenue showing insight into your daughter's life. There is so much you can learn by listening and observing. Listening not only involves what your daughter says, it involves what others say too. This includes her friends, teachers, enemies and anyone she has contact with. I'm not suggesting you spy or have "reports back". Just listen � you'll learn more than you can imagine. Listening is a skill. Creating environments of opportunity is what you want to do. For example�Car pools are painful to be sure, but when you pick up a bunch of her friends, keep the music to a soft level - don't talk � just listen! The girls will be open with their chatter and you'll be able to interpret not only the quality of her friendships, but the collective views of the gro

up. This can be very valuable in future conversations you may have with your daughter. It's also a great way to get to know her friends! Subtle suggestions from your side will have a better impact if you are more informed...remember what you learned regarding communication�Since your daughter has already achieved a level of trust in you, she will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support her best interests without threatening her own desires. YOU, as the parent, are in control at all times.

BLOCK #4�LETTING GO. Letting go is the ongoing process we all deal with. When, how, just enough, not too much. Knowing when to allow your daughter to find her way and knowing when to hold her hand and guide her. There will be times when your heart breaks for her, when you want to take her pain, her place, her path � but the same lessons we've learned, so too shall they. We realize we can't (and should not) always shield her from everything. If you think about it, looking back on our own life � some of the most painful situations taught us the most powerful life lessons. Whether that was empathy and compassion for others, or our ability to forgive and move on; whatever crisis we face we have a choice � We can choose to be "bitter or better". It's a choice. In being there for your daughter, while letting go you provide the strength she'll need to stand on her own. Through pain we grow and through growth we become whole. Sometimes there are no words, sometimes silence and solidarity speak louder than

any great speech. If you have built upon the three previous blocks, letting go will be a natural process of love. There is no fear where love dwells. Your goal is accomplished � you have the strong foundation for a lifelong, healthy relationship with your daughter.

Being there involves just that�being there as a friend, a parent, a role model, a mother. Learning today how to build and enjoy a mother/daughter relationship is the best gift you will ever give to both yourself and your daughter. This is a gift that can be passed down from generation to generation, building stronger and deeper each time.

Learning about enriching your relationship with your daughter is one of the most valuable educations you will ever do for yourself. The building blocks can show you the way. From beautiful baby girl in your arms, through the turbulent teens, the age of independence and self discovery, to watching her gain total confident independence. Your reward is knowing that your job of parenting has now become your fruit of friendship.